I'm an emotional drinker ...

Being a balanced babe does not mean that I wear rose coloured glasses or am going around in a Zen like state all the time. There are times that throw me and I do have my triggers. I am human!

Usually I drink Coca Cola when my trigger is activated - I am an emotional drinker (not eater nor an alcoholic). This is my vice. Normally my little voice fueled with anger and self-righteousness, would encourage me to have a big bottle of Coca-Cola (full strength and 600ml). I would drink that as an act of rebellion - a kind of “stuff you!” because I know it's not good for me. Then I get hooked on the caffeine and must have it just to stay awake to function. I am an emotional drinker (versus eater) but not an alcoholic (because it doesn't contain alcohol) if that makes sense. I drink Coca Cola to calm me down as ironic as that sounds to drink something loaded with caffeine to slow you down. I just gave up Coca-Cola just over a week ago (for the umpteenth time!) and I want to stay that way for many reasons. Whilst it is not a really bad vice, it is still an emotional crutch - one I keep throwing away and then picking back up again. ​

Today was a huge challenge not to pick that crutch back up again.

One of my triggers is leaving my kids behind with my ex-husband. If you are a mother - you know. It hurts to say goodbye... especially when they aren't 100%. Today I met up with my daughter and my ex at the doctors office after she gashed her toe on holiday in NZ with him. As I listen to the doctor and then held her hand whilst she had her tetanus shot, I could feel my blood boiling; I could feel the little voice inside screaming at me in justification and judgement.

Then I had to let my darling injured daughter go. I had to let her go back home with him for the rest of the school holidays. Inside, I just wanted to cuddle her till she got better but I knew she wanted to go back and she would be ok - it was more about me. She had a smile on her face as I kissed her on the forehead. Then I walked away… lowering my sunglasses over my eyes so that passers by couldn't see the tears. I took deep breaths and walked home.

Today I practiced my process to rebalance myself.

Pause - Breathe - Name it - Learn the lesson - Talk it out - Action

Once in a safe place I reflected and listened to my little voice. I felt compassion for my little voice and felt compassion from myself and I cried a bit. I raged against the futility of expressing myself in the situation and took comfort in the fact that my mothering instinct was correct. Getting these emotions out is important because to push them down lower and hide them from yourself only causes more anxiety and stress for your brain. This is about “learning the real lesson” the little voice has come to teach you about yourself and you need to empathise with yourself to see it.

Next my little voice and I “talked it out”. I made a promise to myself to my little voice to not let my mothering instincts be swayed. How would I be without this? When have I stood my sacred ground before? I am stronger now. I can. Then my compassion for my daughter kicked in and the one action that I could do right now to make me feel more secure was to make sure she was ok and healing so I texted her.

This was the response “love you so much. I’m ok”

...and so was I.

A balanced mindset doesn't stop you feeling but it will change how you handle those feelings to be more calm and confident in your choices - a Balanced Babe.

Pause - Breathe - Name it - Learn the lesson - Talk it out - Action

Take care,


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